I walked many miles for you, in our world we call them years,
I moved every cloud for you, thru blood, thru sweat; you left me with tears,
Life came at us fast, what happened to our love?
I stay on my knee’s asking God why you no longer trust in an us,
I’m trying to understand why you aren’t ready to be anymore at least,
Maybe you’ll never be what I want you to be with me,
We hadn’t even begun to reach our full potential as one,
16 years of growing, 8 years of knowing, two years to make it over and done,
We both know we pushed, we pressed, developed disrespect,
We lost site of love – the love that we’d forever vow to give our last breaths,
I am ready to be what you need me to be,
Maybe it’s just that I’m not what you want and in your heart you don’t know how to tell me,
I wonder why you’ve lied from time to time as if I can’t tell,
As if knowing you for over 16yrs I’m not able to see it well,
I wonder why you take my feelings, thoughts, and words and say they’re bullshit,
How come you can’t see me for who I am, nourish, understand, respect, trust, and love it!
Naw see it’s not always me; you’ve done your dirt too!
I’m not sitting here placing blame, I’m simply telling the truth!
Love isn’t this way, its not conditional,
I took all you did right or wrong and proved to you thru actions that I’d never let you go,
You have no idea, you’ve lost no battle in life yet,
I pray for you so that you don’t feel pain cause when you lose you will reap what you sow and will learn the lessons of regret,
Our kids hurt; they need mommy and daddy desperately,
How could you choose to continue a cycle and place these ungodly sanctions on our family?
You aren’t ready to be what I need you to be,
Tell me how you lost that love and respect for me?
You’ve entered into my life at the midst of heartbreak and tried your hand,
A virtuous woman who seemingly found a virtuous man,
Wondrously, vividly things always start off right,
Still ended up arguing though communication was good we never went to sleep angry, we never lost sight,
I’m trying to understand how with you there may be a way,
See as in me, I see in you somethings that may never change,
It’s strange,
I know for an us you would do countless things,
You told me you’d love my kids and love me too, to my heart what joy that brings,
I know and am certain I would be able to maintain with you a bright future,
Yet something inside tells me at the same time that I’m not sure,
I haven’t let go of my love from the past,
I mean you came in in the middle and since so much has happened so soon, so unreal, still too fast,
I refuse to start loving you when I havent let go of my dream,
Best way to put it I love you, but I aint ready to be what you need,
You clearly understand, shoot you knew before we begun,
I kinda fear now that you no longer see me as your Neo – your number one,
I’m coping with a loss back in the circle of feeling all alone,
Realizing that you ain’t really ready to be either as we have complicated discussions on the phone,
I’m struggling now to try and relocate me,
So I may figure out, and come to the conclusion of who I am truly ready to be,
I am a father, I have kids, and a heart purer than gold,
I am loyal, I am loving, I am a good human being because everyday my Lord and Savior tells me so,
I am sure and I am certain that things in time will settle down,
I told you from the get go I had nothing to offer cause I’m scarred very deep and feel I’m not yet on sturdy ground,
Maybe it’s just me and the way I am,
Maybe I’m meant to only stand alone w/o a face
-I am that man,
I walk with hurt, I walk with burdens you just dont know,
How could you possibly want me and truly be ready, tell me why you stopped so suddenly
– why’d you have to go?
Everyday I look out at every beautiful opportunity and let it pass me by and sometimes I do grieve,
You may say I’m inflicting my own pain, but I told you that I ain’t ready to be what you want me to be,
So to protect you,
I love you,
And selfishly,
I ask you to leave,
I’m sorry
I Ain’t Ready To Be What You Want Me To Be.
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