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“JUST WANT IT TO END (PT II)”
I JUST WANT IT TO END….
AND START MY LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN,
HIT THE DELETE BUTTON SO I CAN ERASE ALL OF MY SIN,
BUT THEN IF I DIDN’T COMMIT THE SIN I WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO LEARN FROM THEM,
LIFE IS FULL OF COUNTLESS DECISIONS,
PRAYIN’ TO THE LORD THAT EVERY SIN IS ETERNALLY FORGIVEN,
WITH THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD TAKEN OFF ME ONLY THING LEFT TO DO NOW IS WIN,WIN, WIN!
I WAS TOLD TO NEVER LET OUT THE EMOTION WHILE STILL UNDER THE PAIN,
‘CAUSE THE CONSEQUENCES COULD LEAD ME TO HAVING A SHORT CIRCUIT IN MY BRAIN,
STILL MANY ASPIRATIONS I HAVE, STILL MANY DREAMS TO ATTAIN,
SO WHY IN THE HELL DO I FIND MYSELF DAILY SEARCHING FOR REASONS TO CONTINUE THRU THIS STRUGGLE AND TO NO CONCLUSIONS HAVE I CAME,
WORKIN’ SO HARD -YET LITTLE DO I GAIN,
SEEIN’ FOOT STEPS AND FOOT PRINTS SHOWING PROOF AT TIMES I HAVE BEEN CARRIED OVER AND THRU MASSIVE FALLS OF RAIN,
STILL HASN’T KEPT ME, I’M UNABLE TO MAINTAIN,
SO SICK AND TIRED OF SCROUNGIN’ AS THIS LIFE IS NO GAME,
EMPHATICALLY I SHOUT SO MANY CHOICES AND I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME,
OFTEN WONDERING WHERE WOULD I BE HAD I CHOSEN TO DO UNLAWFUL THANGS,
MAYBE I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO BETTER, GIVE MORE THRU THE MONEY EARNED THRU THE ‘CAINE,
BUT WOULD THE LORD ALMIGHTY HAVE FORGIVENESS ON THE POISON I HELPED DISTRIBUTE AS THEY SNORT IT OR INJECTED IT IN THEIR VEINS?
I’M NOT AN ADDICT FOR FAME – MY LIFE IS A MOTION PICTURE OF ITS OWN,
PERHAPS SOME BETTER ADVICE GIVEN – PLEASE LEAD ME TO GREENER PASTURES THAT ARE GROWN,
MISCONCEPTIONS, MISUNDERSTANDINGS FROM THIS WORLD ALONE,
NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY THEY THINK I SEEK A HAND OUT AS THEY TOSS ME A BONE,
DAILY STRESSIN’ TIMES ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I USED TO CALL MOM AND POPS ON THE PHONE,
NO LONGER A CHILD I’M A MAN, BUT NOT ASHAMED TO SAY SINCERELY I MISS THE PLACE I CALLED HOME,
STEADILY ASKED AM I UNDER PRESSURE AND THE ANSWER IS HELL NO,
IT’S NOT THE PRESSURE IT’S THE PAIN THAT LEAVES DEEP SCARS AND AWAY THEY WONT GO,
IT’S LIKE A CONSTANT REMINDER OF WHERE I AM AND WHERE I’VE BEEN,
WANNA LET IT ALL OUT WITH AN ASTOUNDING CRY, BUT I’M FORCED TO KEEP IT ALL IN,
DAMN ALL THIS HURT,
I JUST WANT IT TO ALL END.
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really sad