“stair case”

i’m at the bottom while you’re at the top,

somehow someway we passed each other and switched spots,

you at the bottom and me at the top,

i wish we could meet in the middle  – lord please make this madness stop,

remember how far we’ve come? away from the beginning, so far we now are, far away we got,

used to show and tell you now we both just say it a lot,

shouts turned into pushing, pushing led to you calling the cops,

another statistic black male is what I wont be i will not,

i was shown better, better i was taught,

no matter how much she hates me, in prison or far away from my family i am destined for greatness not to sit in a cell and rot,

facts not thoughts,

i stood and I fought,

i guess all the pain tension and anguish we swept under the rug and in time we’d hopefully forgot,

here we are again time only thickened the plot,

and those horrific visions of you with others just don’t stop,

the torture and hurt from your actions took away your number one spot,

you successfully removed yourself the moment you got caught,

funny how now i sleep on a cot,

and you in a comfortable bed,

how did i become the villain when truth be told I’m the victim instead,

from a broken heart, broken soul, and now a broken head,

i am literally far away from where i was initially led,

my eyes see so many tears that they’re constantly bloodshot red,

i contemplated suicide but that’s easier said,

i think of all the hurt and pain it would cause i think of my kids joining me sooner if i am dead,

i cannot rely on you to properly provide them the necessary guidance,

at least not from the perspective of men,

so now you’re at the top and me back at the bottom with a heart full of hope and prayers in hands that work so hard you can see the scabs from which they’ve bled,

for all this i didn’t vow to faithfully be wed,

for all this i didn’t vow to be till death do us part mal-nourished, unpolished, and to not be fed,

we’re at different ends,

i will not pretend,

forgiveness takes time, time has shown me true friends,

or lack thereof subtle messages they send,

not one is here, but i’m always here for them,

i’ve learned to deal with my issues alone and on God i solely depend,

still there are times when,

i’d love a helping physical hand,

i just don’t understand……

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