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“WITH HIM”
IN TIME WE’VE LOST SITE TO THE VOWS WE ONCE SAID,
AND INSTEAD
WE HELD CLOSE TO ASSUMPTIVE THOUGHTS, AND FEELINGS
-WE ALLOWED SELFISHNESS TO ENTER OUR BLOOD STREAM AND TAKE PRECEDENCE IN OUR HEADS,
LIFE IS SO LONG, BUT CAN BE SHORT LIVED,
WE BOTH FOUND THAT OUT WHEN WE AGREED TO HAVE KIDS,
OUR DAYS TURNED INTO LONGER NIGHTS,
IN THEM WE FOUND OURSELVES IMMERSED IN DEEP DISLIKE,
DEEP THOUGHTS OF SEEKING LIFE WITH ANOTHER,
TRUSTING LESS IN WHAT WE SAY TO ONE ANOTHER,
BUT WE STILL ARE LOVERS, WE STILL ARE FRIENDS,
WE STILL HAVE BEAUTIFUL KIDS TO SHOW FOR OUR MANY YEARS OF MARRIAGE TILL THE END,
AND IN THE END, IF THERE IS ONE NEAR,
WITH YOU IS WHERE I STILL STAND MY DEAR,
SO MUCH TO SHOW, SO MUCH TO LEARN,
SO MANY YEARS MY HEART YOUVE BURNED,
I REACHED OUT FOR AFFECTION AND YOU SEEMED TO HAVE LOST INTEREST,
NEEDED ME TO PUT ON THIS AND PUT ON THAT TO GAIN YOUR APPETITE, DIVULGE, AND DIGEST –
ME,
I KNOW I COULD HAVE DONE MY BEST, BUT YOU FELL SHORT,
SO I QUIT GIVING MY BEST TILL YOU DID MORE,
MORE YOU SAY! HELL I DID DO ENOUGH,
FELT THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD AND TIMES WERE ALL SO TOUGH,
YES I MAY HAVE WANDERED AND WANTED SOME MORE FROM YOU,
YES I MAY HAVE SQUANDERED OUR MARRIAGE, BUT I NEVER EVER DISRESPECTED YOU,
I TOOK SOME ABUSE, I HURT AND KEPT THINGS IN,
SEE I’M NOT THAT TYPE OF SENSITIVE GUY TO CRY, I HOLD IT IN AND DEAL WITH IT TILL THE END,
BUT YOU, SHITTTT YOU WERE WITH HIM,
OR SO I AM YET TO HAVE ENOUGH TO PROVE,
YET I CAN SEE CLEARLY THE FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND LOVE YOU HAVE FOR DUDE,
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU!?! HELL YOUVE GOT YOUR NERVE,
THINK I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THOSE OTHER WOMEN AND YOUR NEWLY FOUND TENDENCIES IN YOUR ACTIONS AND WORDS?!?!
SEE WHAT I ASKED FOR WAS SIMPLE AND PLAIN,
DIDN’T ASK FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION, BUT IN TURN I GOT MORE PAIN,
DIDN’T ASK FOR THINGS THAT YOU WERE INCAPABLE TO DO,
I SIMPLY ASKED YOU TO BE THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH – THE ONE THAT MADE ME SAY I DO,
WITH EACH PASSIN’ DAY I TOSSED AND TURNED,
FOR SO MANY DAYS AND NIGHTS I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT OR SOME LESSON THAT I HAD TO LEARN,
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THIS AND YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THAT,
BUT ALL THE WHILE MY BOO BOO YOU CANNOT DENY THE FACTS,
WE ARE AT POINT WHERE IT EITHER ENDS OR BEGINS WITH A BURST,
AND ALL THAT STARTING OVER STUFF IS GOING TO START WITH TRUST FIRST,
NOT SURE THAT WE CAN, NOT SURE THAT I WILL,
‘CAUSE WHILE YOU WERE OUT FUCKING AROUND – I FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM AND FOUND THAT I AM VERY MUCH STILL,
FOR ME YOUR FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED SO DRASTICALLY SO,
I MUST BE QUITE HONEST HOW MUCH I DID NOT KNOW,
THERE HAD NEVER BEEN A REASON FOR ME TO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU TWO,
FOR ALL THE YEARS I STAYED, I AM HERE – WAS BECAUSE I LOVE, AND STILL WANT TO BE HERE,
WITH YOU.
©2009 paragraphsoflove.com All Rights Reserved.
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